The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

This one had everyone in the department stumped. No one could see the point of this case, so they handed it to me, M.J. Hart, to investigate. Here are my case notes, starting at the beginning:

• Proper use of capitalization: Check
• Good sentence structure: Check
• Every letter of the alphabet: Check
• I’s dotted and T’s crossed: Check

I must admit, at first I couldn’t see the point of this case either. Then it struck me: No one saw the point because it wasn’t there! The point was missing. So, I quickly grabbed a pen and expertly added the point to the sentence so that it was now complete:

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Everyone in the English department was grateful that I had found the point and solved the Case of the Missing Period and I was awarded an A+ for my efforts. Next case: stopping those run-ons from running on and on and on and on…..

I wish real life was as easy as a fictional investigative case where everything wrapped up neatly in the end. I went to the doctor yesterday about my own missing period because it’s been since January and I still haven’t had a period.

It turns out the blood work done last month was a quantitative test instead of the qualitative that I thought the doctor ordered. According to that, I’m not pregnant as the result was <5. A non-pregnant woman should return a value of 0-5.

So, I mentioned to her that I’m also experiencing a dull ache in my back–but strong enough to need Advil for comfort–and she immediately started suggesting more blood work. I headed down to the Vampire Shop with my orders for new tests, as well as a repeat of the quantitative HCG just in case. This is what she’s looking for:

• pituitary function
• thyroid function
• ovary function (presence of lutinizing hormone)
• HCG count

Basically, my GYN is trying to figure out whether or not I’m in early menopause. It wouldn’t be surprising to me if I am; 30 is the average age for women in my family to experience menopause. Plus, I’ve been perimenopausal for a few years, experiencing irregular periods, hot flashes, irritability and depression. If I’m menopausal now, it would answer a lot of questions. Unfortunately, the doctor thinks I’m too young to go without HRT if I am. My mom had life-threatening blood clots with HRT after her hysterectomy, so I really need to find out what course she was on in looking into my own treatment.

Del suggested that I look into the possibility of uterine cancer. So, while I’m waiting for the lab results, I’m going to research signs and symptoms of uterine disease, including cancer. Anyone with prior (or current) problems with uterine disease is welcome to comment, as I believe it would be helpful to know what others have experienced in the way of symptoms and treatment.

I’ve said in the past that I’d like to be done with having kids by the time I turned 30, but if this menopause, it’s absurd and ridiculous.